poyzind's Xanga

Monday, March 21, 2005

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 22:31:08 GMT

don't worry, i'm not officially dead.........

i know i haven't done anything in like the past month... whatever, i've been busy... i've been extremely low on energy lately, like i'm not excited about it being the last term of my senior year. which sux cuz i mean, i should seriously be enjoying it! i think it's just me being lazy..........

college decisions are driving me insane. i'm still waiting for berkeley and everytime dad asks me to check the stupid site, looking @ the same message just makes me more anxious. i really don't know what i'm going to do about it. there's a very specific reason i'm not telling anybody about what i'm leaning towards, cuz i feel more pressure this way. p.s. don't follow my example. i'm what NOT to do........

spring break is coming up -- i'm going to be visiting colleges. but it also means i'm going to l.a. to spend time w/ my fave cousins!!!!!! i'm also going to have a major buttload of work to do over the break, so it won't really feel like a vacation, i suppose. y'know, this time last year, i was getting ready to go to england..... that felt nice.....

just took an ap world test that is a total toss in the air. on the one hand, i THOUGHT i'd do okay. then afterwards, when we were all talking about it..... hmm.... we'll see i guess.

also just asked some random guy who's not really so random to prom. dunno why i keep saying that. but it's true. maybe it's just cuz i really wanna go to my senior prom (even if it turns out to be a dud). whatever.

*sigh* mondays..............................

luv, na

p.s. wicked is coming to l.a. and s.f. this summer!!!!! i really hope i can go see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 22:42:41 GMT

ok... taking things one step @ a time.

time for a confession. this may or may not make sense to you, so whatever. just go with it. i've been in horrible moods lately (and i know many can testify to that). it's just that i'm having major issues with blame. i tend to blame my problems on other people, on other things, etc. i know its really me, just wasting energy in order to hate things. (haha! philosophy class!) because it's easier than actually dealing with my issues. it's unfair to other people around me, who probably are sick of being around me when i'm like this. i know i hate being around me when i'm like this. it's really selfish. no, this is not me being self-depricating; it's me being realistic.

so, in the end, i'm sorry for being randomly pissed off @ you. you people may not even realize who you are, or that i was pissed @ you. in that case, great. saves me some time. but to those that did notice: sorry guys. i can be a jerk.

it's not you... it's me.

oh, and another thing i hate: that stupid paranoid feeling that everyone knows something you don't and they just talk over your head. but it's so obvious what they're talking about, yet they won't come out and actually say it. because you're not one of the "priveleged few". it makes me feel horrible and it's mostly because it's all in my super hyper active imagination. it's dumb, i know, but i just had to say it.

well, i'd say that's sufficient crap for today.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 03:14:23 GMT

i'm am majorly ready to rip everything apart, tear up all of my stupid ass apps, not do any of my homework, and just say to hell with my papers. i just feel sick of everything right now (and literally too - whatever i had is apparently still with me). i can't talk to anyone anymore because whatever i say is going to come out wrong and i'll end up pissed off anyways. i'm sick of hearing everyone whining and complaining because somehow it never makes me feel any better when i do it -- that just means i put up with everyone else's shit. i feel like everybody including my own family is turning on me. and to everybody that wants something from me right now: just BACK OFF for a sec. i feel like everything's crashing down at one time. i feel like i can't be this way because i'm not supposed to. and i feel like shit cuz i feel this way right now.

yeah, i've had a bad week. but that doesn't matter right now. i have things to do. i have apps to complete and papers to turn in. i have friends with problems to talk to. i have a life to live.

have a good day, everyone.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 04:03:14 GMT

hey everyone: happy 2005!!! this is the year for big changes!!! i mean, i'm going to college! (right??) it's gonna be CRAZY... one thing @ a time...

college apps... must not panic.....

ok, who saw lost last night??? sawyer's really hot... charlie's adorable... and sayid and shannon need to hook up (it was sooo sweet) ok, enough of that...

speaking of hot guys: kris's boyfriend jon (on the amazing race) looks REALLY good in a speedo. thank you bruckheimer for classy reality tv (minus jonathan & victoria, of course).

mock trial competition next week... that's going to be INTERESTING......... granted we don't really know what we're doing.. hehehehe............

hmm... back to homework then... byebye ~wil

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 16:49:40 GMT

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

how's everyone's holidays so far?? i had christmas dinner last night. trac and i actually succeeded on making dessert!!! after an INTERESTING episode on the radio (for the full account, she has it on her site), we produced three decent and presentable pies... and they actually tasted good too... if you can't already tell: this is a really big accomplishment for me, considering i'm such a klutz...

i can't believe graduation is only 5 months away...boohoo... it's crazy... which reminds me, i'm supposed to be working on my apps during break... oops.. anyways...

hope everyone is enjoying their presents!!! (and the important things too...)

~na

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 18:36:40 GMT

Trac~I here...Just changed Na's layout again cuz she wanted a new one. Yay for Calvin & Hobbes! We're watching "Street Smarts" right now..."A pianist is to piano as a cellist is to?..." "Cellio!" LOL...That's all for now, folks!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 05:17:16 GMT

(yippee! tra tra helped me get this layout! potter puppet pals ROCK!!!!)

whoo-hoo! term 2! i really don't know what i'm so excited about, but who cares?

doing my econ homework... did you know: if you tried to pay off an $8000 debt @ 19% interest with only the min. payment... it would take you 746 months to pay it off and you'd end up paying $28,995.39 in interest... so be careful kiddies...

i know some ppl are dealing with issues right now... i'm here for ya! (you know who you are... gotta finish that conversation!) don't let one thing (or guy, in some cases) bring ya down! --> not worth it!

*yawn* byebye... luv na

Monday, November 29, 2004

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 23:05:46 GMT

Trac here...just helped Na upload a new Xanga skin! Hope you all like it!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 18:17:58 GMT

yah! i get to go to homecoming!!! it was sort of a last minute thing, but at least i can go! (thx buf!) it's gonna be SO random!

got the fashion show dvd and it SUX!!! the quality is sooo bad and it was like 20 bucks. such a ripoff.....

i'm currently running on about 2 hrs of sleep... stupid music history paper that's worth only 10 pts!!!!! why do i do this?! i want to sleep RIGHT NOW. i think i'm technically supposed to be doing work, but i'm just feeling lazy.

gotta go. bye bye..... ~wil

Monday, October 25, 2004

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 05:07:54 GMT

ahhh!!! i'm gonna go crazy!!! so much work to do!!!!!!!!!!

came back from the music history concert @ the mondavi center. i hate to be one of the many to say this... but wasn't david garrett AWESOME??? i'm actually talking about his talent as well as looks. (scruffy=yummy) but what's with the random posing???

homecoming's soon... GO SENIORS!!! i really have no idea what's going on with anything else though... as long as i have a date to prom, i'm happy.

this is really random... once again, i'm posting instead of finishing my paper... bad habits are hard to break... good thing this one doesn't require too much deep thought. (unlike the another due this week... so clueless...)

get sleep everyone...